When you are feeling anxious about something, try focusing on how your feelings can change.

It is important to remember that feelings are fluid and can inevitably shift or go away over time. Try thinking about what your feelings will be when you start to feel better again and focus specifically on that expected change.

An example of this would look like:

​“I am feeling very nervous about having to do a presentation today. When those feelings change, I expect to feel calm, accomplished, and empowered”.

Remember feelings always change - and even just reminding yourself of that is very important.

What do you like to do when you are feeling anxious? Let us know in the comment section below!

There are so many options when it comes to counsellors that it can feel pretty overwhelming trying to decide who you should reach out too. 

Here are some ideas you can look for when choosing between potential counsellors. 

1) See if they specialize and/or have training in your specific area of struggle.
2) Are they trained and utilize therapy modalities you think would be useful for you? (If you don’t know, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask!)
3) Do they seem to have the right energy or “vibe” on their website and social media?
4) How do others talk about them. Have any friends or family members had a successful experience with that counsellor?
5) How do they make you feel when you get in touch with them? Do they make you feel calm and hopeful about getting started? Don't hesitate to reach out to a couple people to see who might be the best fit. 

What do you look for when choosing between potential therapists? How do you decide who to reach out to? 

Let us know in the comment section below!

Soul gazing is a nonverbal way of communicating couples can utilize to enhance intimacy in the relationship that may have been previously unexplored.

Here's how to do it...
Step One: Try laying down or sitting facing each other. 
Step Two: Align your eyesights and gaze into each other's eyes.⠀
Step Three: Do this for 5-10 minutes (side tip - the longer you do it the more intense the experience!) Now remember, it’s not a staring competition, just focus on gazing into each other's eyes.
Step Four: When finished, talk about the experience with your partner.

Use this exercise to communicate on a deeper level with your partner, and to awaken new lines of exchange.

Have you tried soul gazing with your partner yet? What was it like?

Share in the comment section below!

​Though each individual client is different, there are a few areas of therapy that are consistent. Here are a couple things you can expect when getting started with counselling. 

1. Expect a counsellor you feel comfortable with - don’t settle for a bad fit. You may even want to try one or two counsellors to be sure you found someone you feel the most connected to. This is an important aspect of counselling and one to be considered a top priority.     
2. Counselling is a partnership. Many people reaching out for counselling have an expectation that the therapist will tell them what to do and if they do it, things will get better. Expect therapy to be a partnership and healing is relational. Therapy should feel like a collaboration. ​
3. Counselling MUST be a safe space. Though times may be unpleasant, or challenging, frustrating or unpleasant memories and emotions may come up, you should always feel comfortable and safe in therapy. 

When it comes to counselling and psychotherapy, everyone's needs and goals are vastly different, therefore it is nearly impossible to state an exact timeline for counselling. How long counselling lasts depends on many factors. You may have multiple things you want to process and work through, or a relatively straightforward singular problem you just want to vent about. 

Some therapy treatment types are short term, while others may last much longer. Practically speaking, maybe your insurance coverage/finances might also limit you.

However, regardless of what you are wanting counselling to address, the length of therapy is an important aspect to bring up with your therapist at the beginning. This will give both you and your therapist an idea of what goals to work towards and what you want to accomplish.

Never be afraid to revisit this issue at any time during the therapy process. Remember, goals are always changing and life is constantly evolving, as humans we have to be open to changing with it! 

To make the most out of counselling, you will need to focus on taking what you learn in counselling and applying it to real life. The reality is that 50 minutes once a week can only do so much to make a long-lasting change in your life. 

Here are a few tips to make the most out of your sessions:  

• Don’t expect a therapist to tell you what to do. Therapy, progress and recovery is a partnership. The therapist will guide you and make suggestions towards positive change, but only you can make the changes. 

 

• Be open about your feelings. You will get the most out of therapy if you are open and honest about what is going on. If you are embarrassed, ashamed, or unwilling to talk about something, communicate that with your therapist. Slowly you can work toward moving forward.  

• Make healthy lifestyle changes. There are side things you can do that will help support your mental and emotional health. Reach out to others, eat well, exercise often, get plenty of sleep, and allow time to unwind and relax. As simple as these steps sound, they have tremendous impact on mental and emotional wellbeing. 

• Commit to therapy. Try your best not to skip sessions unless you have to. If your therapist gives you homework, be sure to do it. If you are feeling reluctant about therapy or feeling nervous to talk about something, tell your therapist but be sure to believe in the process and give it time.

Many leading experts in the field of psychotherapy have found that it is the client's relationship with their therapist that is the strongest predictor of treatment success. Since this is such an important component to therapy, here are a couple of questions to get you thinking if your therapist is a good fit for you:

1) Does it seem like your therapist truly cares about you and your experiences?
2) Do you feel your therapist understands or “gets” you?
3) Is your therapist constantly trying to “fix” you or do you feel accepted as you are?
4) Do you feel your therapist creates a safe place to talk about personal and sensitive topics?
5) Do you feel like you can be open and honest around your therapist? 

If you answered yes to most of these questions, sounds like you have a perfect pairing. If you answered no, don't lose hope. Try talking to your therapist about your feelings and allow your therapist time to adjust their approach to fit your needs. 

​It is also important to remember, that when it comes to therapists, just like friends, there are different personalities, styles, areas of expertise, etc.. so if one isn't a good fit, chances are the next one will be. 

So, if you’ve never gone to counselling before you are probably feeling pretty anxious about getting started. In fact, I have yet to meet a client where they didn’t come into my office feeling just a tad nervous or uneasy. Hopefully, what you will find is within the first few minutes, or at very least by the end of the session, those worries or fears will subside. 

To ease some of your worries, here are a few things you might get asked during your first therapy session to help you prepare. Most therapists will likely ask, “what made you decide to reach out for therapy?”, “what are some of your goals for change in therapy” and some therapists may even ask “how will you know when those goals are achieved and what would that look like?”. 
​
Before your first appointment, start brainstorming about some of those answers, you can even journal them and bring them with you to your appointment. Now, if you don't know what those answers are, that's okay too. The therapist's job is to help brainstorm some ideas and see what fits for you before moving forward.